Where it was dark, it is now clear, I feel numb no more
Cassie Merritt - April 11th 2017
On April 17, 2016, my mom had a seizure. She later was diagnosed with glioblastoma grade four cancer. My mom lost memories, names, communication, and movement. But she could always tell us “I’ll be ok, I get to see God when I go!” Instead of losing faith and getting angry with God, her faith only grew and she trusted God.
My faith with God during this time wasn’t strong. I’m not sure I even believed in Him. I was programmed to say “Yes, I believe in God, Heaven and hell, I’m a Christian” but I’m not so sure I really believed what I was saying. Seeing my mom never lose faith, and seeing her trust in Him opened a path for me to begin to grow my faith in Christ. I wanted to believe He’s real; I wanted to believe there was a heaven where my mom was going.
When she passed, I continued to feel numb, but there was always this urge for me to grow my faith, to begin a relationship with God. So I began going to Mops, I began going to Camano Chapel and then in February 2017 at the women’s retreat, I gave my life to Christ! Where it once was dark it is now clear and I feel numb no more! And now I see Gods hand though the hardest time in my life, He was there all along, I just never payed attention.